so life is interesting.



new girl.
old friends.
new band members.
new songs.

YET still no money
or home
or food (minus dougs delicious buffet)

but my friends are still wicked cool.

oh well.

SOOOOOO.....

please let me have your undivided attention.
grace and i broke up because she doesn't have enough time for me.
i'm obviously not a priority at the moment.
i'm not mad.
i'm just disappointed.
i love her and i think she's blinded by stress at the moment.
i'll ALWAYS ALWAYS be here for her to vent to.
but i don't think she really wants to call me.
i miss her.
i miss her sneaking out at midnight just because she wanted to see me.
i miss cuddling and whispering our favorite songs until wee hours of the morning.
i miss feeling at home.
i miss feeling comfortable.
i'm back out on my own.
i'm just doing the dance of life.
and i have two left feet.




thank you for your time.

i'm drunk

Grace got a 50 on a quiz and ashley got a 25. MY GIRLFRIENDS BETTER!


haha





the band took mike back. it makes me happy.
i'm hungry.




i think grace is writing something for me. i'm super uber excited for it.



life is going JUST the same.
i have nothing but the band and grace and my friends.


KELSEY WROTE A BLOG ABOUT ME AND IT MADE ME SMILE.

i need a job.
i need to start writing more songs.



yup

so i wrote this song earlier.

it's like really pretty...
maybe i'll play it for everyone sometime. but i doubt it.


i feel the rain on a november morning
it's soft and rolls off my hand
careful now the leaves might be slippery
hold on to me
we'll make it through this
we'll make it through
i wouldn't want you to

fall
the clouds are clearing
and it's not the same anymore
after the mist has faded
after the fog clears
all i see is you playing in puddles
wasting the day away
you being beautiful
just like my love should

i'm playing with the lock on a suitcase
thinking it's a good idea
advice, good words fall on my ear
someday i'll be gone
and someday you'll be here
but today you're in my arms and i'm thinking to myself

i don't want you to

just remember my name
remember everything i threw away
remember all the times we had
and the waterfront escapades
by the river, i felt you there
i felt alive
but if you ever should fall
i'll be waiting, i'll be ready
to fix it all
so stay with me tonight
and play with me in the puddles of our dreams







i think its cute.
=]

last night was pretty crazy. i totally went to the killing moon show FOR FREE! it was insane. new songs KICK ASS. woop woop. vf gtylfy. after the show we went to denny's and i had a DELCIOUS waffle. great times. we THEN went to whitney's house for a scene girl sleepover. what a night. we watched xmen and fell asleep. not really that exciting



BUT






it was mia's birthday!



it was pretty killer. she has a party today and i'm SO hitting it up.





I HAVE A SHOW TONIGHT WITH RADIATION YEAR!! woo hoo. and grace is finally coming to a show. her first one in maine.


i'm stoked.






goodbye lj.

so ya. i'm homeless as of 10/4/06. it sucks.

oh well i'll find a place.




desi and i are becoming good friends and i like that because she really knows how to make me feel better.
grace freaking barnett still keeps me grounded and levelheaded which is good because i'd be a nutcase otherwise.

dave chapman always makes my day and i'll love him till the end of time.

eat your heartout meatloaf.


i love kelesy ann bell because she always does sooo much for me!



yup my friends rule.

so john and i were supposed to move into an apartment on fountain st and they landlord called today and apparently he found "more qualified" people to rent to. the problem is john and i have to be out of our place THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. we have nowhere to stash our stuff and nowhere to go.


what the fuck am i going to do?


i DID get a good job today though. quiznos near the mall.... bitches....
i honestly think there are about 3 people that can turn my day around right now...

my dad. dave chapman..... and grace.



bleh.





today=not a good day.

today was pretty friggin decent. first things first. John and I pretty much found a place to move in with DAVID FUCKING CHAPMAN. which is amazing. my dad wired me some money so i could get it which is cool. plus he was talking to me about getting my new drumset which amazing. i got to see grace's house. which is amazing. we layed on her bed and looked at a sticker book. which was amazing. *sigh*(takes a moment to think about grace) then i went to the mall with kelsey leo cossandra and john. which was amazing

hilary teriault gave me free candy at sweet stuff =]


time for bed. i have a long day tomorrow.




goodnight LJ.

So basically. i'm happy. grace finally called me her boyfriend. which is amazing. and desi and i are getting along REALLY well now as friends and that makes me SOOO happy.


THE SHOW LAST NIGHT in portland at the station was really cool because it was our first road show with ben. HOWEVER there weren't many people there and my set kept falling apart. but it was fun.


OUR TRAILER RAN INTO THE BACK OF SOMEONE'S CAR.


weird.




anyways. life is good.

LAST NIGHT was amazing. probably the best night i've had in a LOONNNNGGG time. Mike Boguen, Leo chase, Kelsey Bell, Cossandra Pinkham, and I went to uno's and had a blast because they're all the best. Then I was hanging out with kelsey, leo, and cossandra and we went LAWN ORNAMENT STEALING. man oh man. we got about 50 lawn ornaments and packed them into kelsey's jeep. it was insane and they're sooo much fun to hang out with and leo and i were having a fucking field day with stealing shit. NOT TO MENTION i had and amazing conversation with grace.


i love her alot.



what a great night.




NOW TONIGHT i'm going to see too late the hero and linden at the underground. WOO HOO!

i'm then hanging out with grace later.



this weekend is going to rule.

here's the thing. i get paid tomorrow and that's exciting because i've been living on a budget tighter than mother theresa's vagina. so i'm stoked about getting some decent food. grace came by yesterday and almost got in trouble. but she didn't so that's cool. she's still my favorite person ever.



i've been talking to desi a lot and she's way cool shit and under different circumstances we could've had something but as the circumstances are, i have grace. the problem is i want more than anything to be able to be her friend. no nothing will happen between us but she's one of the best friends i've ever had a i dont want to lose her. i'm kinda afraid that's going to happen.


*sigh*


i haven't talked to my bestest fried molly much recently. i saw her at church sunday night. that was cool but we didn't get to talk long. i miss her. =[


john and i need places to live by oct 1st. that's not that far away. we're getting evicted because our landlord doesn't like the noise. what a 30000 yr old fgt. i'll probably end up living with travis davis and josh vansaantvoord which is cool because i like them.


big show friday at the underground. too late the hero, cambiata, and linden. i'm stoked.

then we, thesymmetry, have a show on sunday in portland then we're playing USHUAIA on the 27th! killa!
i love this band. i love writing music. i wish they'd let me write more. oh well.


enough blabbering. go check your myspace. it's the cool thing to do.

life is sucking like crazy but i'm still happy as hell because i'm in love again








=]

i kinda got stood up in a way. grace was supposed to hang out with me. it's now 1040 and not even a phone call.

i'm really sad.




i hope it's not because she hates me


=[

i was on the phone last night longer than i've ever been... it was weird. i'm not normally a phone person but i just couldn't stop talking. haha. oh well. it was a pretty amazing conversation. yup. now i'm feeling a little sick. i hope it doesn't get too bad. yuck

time to download unreasonably huge amounts of music.

the last two days were the most boring of my entire life with the exception of between 1230 and 230 this morning.

wow is life like slowing down or something? because it seems like it.

oh well.



i'm SOOOOO tired and i've done nothing all day.




AND... i already miss grace.
=X

she's amazing.

she makes my heart go pitter patter.



not many people do that.
hopefull molly will approve.

(me=nervous)



i hate class!!!!!
i love the end of the day though. phew.

girls suck. grace is really amazing but seems to want nothing to do with me outside of the hours of 12 to 4 in the morning. gah.

ashley was really nice to me yesterday. that was cool. i got her some birthday presents. since she was my ex and spent alot of money on me.

life has a funny way of working.

yup.